Tuesday, January 02, 2007
3:01 PM
Hiaz. 2nd say into the new year, and i'm here blogging about how disappointed about myself. i come to think of if i still love God and does God still matter to me. why isit that no matter how hard i tell myself not to do something that will disappoint God, i still eventually did it? was showering just now and i came to realised the sad face that i just placed on God's face. not a face that is judgmental, but one that is lovingly sad. How much He loves us and care for us... sometimes we just might not know, but God is always looking at us. no matter what we are doing, where we are, or when it is, He is always there looking down at us. His beloved one. Kinda sad to say at many a times when i get too engrossed into something i tend to forget about this. I tend to think that God is far far away, and sometimes i think He is so far away that it seems okay to sin and He won't catch it. kinda disappointed at how i react to the pop quiz that God places in my life. Think i failed most of them.
Was reading Every man's challange. talked about how God likes to place pop-quiz in our lifes to test our faith and trust in Him. it is also thru these pop-quiz that we know if we are heading where we intended to and if we are achieving the standard that we are aiming to achieve in God. Today, once again, which is sad to say, i failed the pop-quiz again. Think it was quite sad for God to see me fail in the quiz AGAIN, but it has let me know that i'm still far from where i should go. I'm still far from the potential that i can reach to. Bahhh...
God, i admit that i'm a sinner and that You are the only one that can clense my whole heart. Lord, i pray that my heart would be soften and can once again feel your tengable love. i pray that i would be senstive to the Holy Spirit promptings in my heart and i would respond to them and Lord may You guide me thru these times of trails and that You would be with me in my heart. Lord i thank You for Your stubborn love torwards me and the grace that is upon me. Amen
+ AMEN